One of the best parts about growing up is the fact that you can still rely on childhood kicks to pass the time. When my friends and I were in our mid to late teens, we still got together to play “murder in the dark.” If you’re not familiar, it’s a game in which one person is blindfolded, spun around and then set free in a room while everyone hides in the dark. The “killer” must make his or her way through the room until they finally grab a victim. This person now becomes the killer and so on. Sure, these games are a blast as a kid, but when you’re older it’s a lot more fun when scenarios come into play. We used to bump it up a notch and put the “killer” in a creepy mask, and for added atmospheric effect, use a slow blinking strobe light to make movement more difficult. We’d also play hide in seek in large empty houses and being the horror movie fan that I am, I would totally see what a genre victim’s perspective was like. Shadows passing the closet door, a pair of feet lumbering by the bed, the sound of the shower curtain being pulled back, and of course…the moment when their hand reaches into the dark and finds you. Shit, I wish I could find someone to play right now. “The Murder Game” takes this idea and tries to put it to good use. Unfortunately, it’s all chutes and no ladders.

The film begins with a bunch of high school coeds playing a game similar to “murder in the dark” where a killer has to find the victims throughout the house. Once found, they’re “killed” with various props and then have to remain still for the duration of the game. For a lack of better story development, the kids are banned from playing the game in the house by an angry mother. Desperate to continue, they decide to sneak into a self-storage facility and play the game there after it’s shut down and locked up for the night. All seems to be going well until they realize that they aren’t alone in the facility. Soon the game starts to become a little too real. Let’s just say they won’t be playing the game of “Life” anytime soon.

Don’t let the cover art to “The Murder Game” fool you. That’s as high as the production values get. The film takes a decent premise and runs it into the ground with trite characters and plotting, not to mention bad acting and limited appeal. It’s bad enough that they look older than high school kids, but trying to implement the “horny gal,” the “smart girl,” “the goth kid,” “the pot smoker,” and “the dickhead jock” amongst others fatally overdone routines gives this movie zilch awards in the creativity department. It has a decent amount of gore, but nothing to shit your pants over. It also has opportunity for great humorous setups and when they’re smart enough to use them, they’re always a beat off. If you’re mentally stable, you’ll see the killer coming from a mile away and the term “plot twist” will slowly dissolve from your mind after the first half. It ends about as badly as it begins. If I had to bet on it, chances are the producers are up for a game of “Sorry!”

The Hidden Message: Mr. Bucket has more replay value.