As a child I was never a big fan of fairy tales. This is mainly because all of the ones my father told me ended in “and the king and queen got divorced and she took half of his shit and moved to Grand Rapids with Prince Gary. And then the king drank himself into a coma.” As a matter of fact, I didn’t actually see “Labyrinth” (the one starring David Bowie’s bulge) for the first time until last year. But from the first time I read about Guillermo del Toro’s “Pan’s Labyrinth” in Rue Morgue magazine, (the horror connoisseur’s Playboy), I knew it was going to be an amazing film. Then when I heard that it received a twenty minute plus standing ovation at Cannes, I knew that I had to see this movie and fast. “Pan’s Labyrinth” is everything that dreams and fairy tales are made of. In this case, fairy tales of the most tragically beautiful kind.

Similar to del Toro’s 2001 masterpiece “The Devil’s Backbone,” “Pan’s Labyrinth” takes place in fascist Spain during the aftermath of the Spanish Civil War. Ofelia (played by beautiful and talented youngster Ivana Baquero) is traveling with her mother to live with her new stepfather, the ruthless and cruel Captain Vidal. In all of film dickery, this dude takes the dick-cake. His torture methods would make certain Bratislava businessmen cringe and his fascist plight would give Mussolini a hard-on. Surrounded by violence and evil, Ofelia is not living as a child should. She buries herself in her fairytale books to escape into another world where the monsters are only on the pages. One night, she’s visited by a fairy who guides her through a nearby labyrinth. At the end, she meets Pan, a faun who tells her that she is the reincarnation of a princess and that she needs to return to her kingdom. However, before she can do this she must complete three tasks to prove she is true royalty. Only then will she be allowed to return to her real family in a kingdom in another world.

I shouldn’t have to tell you how amazing this movie is because you’ve either seen it already or have heard the buzz. Winning three out of six Oscars and being the first Fantasy film to be nominated in the Best Foreign Language Film category doesn’t dispute the hype either. Regardless, the film touches the viewer on many levels and weaves a story so compelling and moving that it will probably go down as one of the best fantasy films ever made, (whether it’s for adults or not).

Like “The Devil’s Backbone,” stunning cinematography and special effects (provided by the always creative DDT SFX), not to mention the beautiful story, take “Pan’s Labyrinth” from film to pure art. The visuals are always stunning, the actors never miss a mark and Pan is played gorgeously by del Toro veteran Doug Jones, who also plays The Pale Man in the film, a character so horrific and eerie that he would send Captain Vidal running for the hills as fascist he can. (Get it?)

But when it comes down to it, “Pan’s Labyrinth” like “Backbone” is a beautiful and heartbreaking film where children are the real victims of a life surrounded by war. Never has escapism been so beautifully realized on the screen, even bringing my dry eyes to tears. (It was probably just allergies.) When the movie ends and the credits roll, I think that we can feel a bit of Ofelia in all of us. When it comes down to it, we’re all running from monsters, lost in a labyrinth…hoping to find our kingdom.

The Hidden Message: Fascism is just a fairytale. You know, like the Holocaust.