Harrison Ford? Check.
Loving, vulnerable family? Check.
One-dimensional villain with near-magical hacking skills? Check.
Complicated robbery plan involving a large team and several hostages? Check.
Overused, broadly misunderstood technical buzzword, preferably in title? Check.

“People, we are all systems go for Harrison Ford's recurring nightmare, 'What Have You Done With My Family?' Tonight's episode is... umm... 'Fireball'... sorry, 'Firewall.' Places, people, let's make this one really adequate!”

Ok, so I can't personally take credit for noticing that Harrison Ford's oeuvre has grown a wee bit predictable. Props for that observation go to whoever put together the excellent spoof trailer Wife Force One. But having seen Wife Force One, I found it impossible to take Firewall seriously. Not that the film itself is any help on that point.

The movie starts out with a few perfunctory minutes establishing just how happy Ford and his wife (Virginia Madsen) are and just how happy their family (daughter Carly Schroeder and son Jimmy Bennett) is in their beautiful oceanfront home. A minor spat between the kids over a remote control toy that interferes with tv signals (wonder if that'll be important?) shows that even this family's not perfect. Oh, those darn kids! The same expository chores are soon taken care of at Ford's office (His new boss is an ignorant dick! But the competent people who actually do work know that Harrison's a great guy!) and the plot grinds into second gear. The villain (Paul Bettany) exposes himself; points some guns; makes some threats; makes some demands. The good guy tries to outsmart the bad guy; gets caught, tries again; gets caught again. The bad guy is so smart! But maybe the good guy can be smarter in the end, because he loves his family so much!

SPOILER ALERT:
In the end, Harrison Ford loves his family so much that he outsmarts the bad guy and saves his family from certain death. This, of course, is the spoiler equivalent to finding out that the ghost in an episode of Scooby Doo is really a grumpy old man in a rubber mask (bet you never saw that one coming). The real shocker is that he manages this rescue with some technical trickery that is, in fact, completely possible (he tracks the dog's gps enabled collar) and only marginally implausible (homicidal sociopath decides to bring the family dog on a long drive in a crowded van to a remote location where he plans to execute the entire family).
END SPOILER ALERT.

I suppose Harrison Ford still has his renowned gravitas and presence, but having seen him play this same character in this basically identical situation so many times, it just doesn't have the same impact it did back when Patriot Games or even The Fugitive came out. And as the villain, Paul Bettany, a fine actor in many roles (usually charming, erudite ones), is woefully tepid, unconvincing in his menace, and generally a poor substitute for Sean Bean. In his defense, it's hard to say this is entirely his fault; in a juicier role he might be absolutely chilling. Virginia Madsen performs the terrified wife/consoling mother role with all the competence you would expect, but, again, there isn't much there for her to sink her teeth into.

It would be easy to say that the problems of Firewall are just the problems of a formula that's been recycled too many times to generate any excitement. The fault with that argument is that it doesn't account for a movie like last year's Die Hard installment: a movie that's no less predictable in the broad outlines of its plot, but has so much fun within the confines of the genre that it's almost impossible not to enjoy the ride. A more likely explanation is that the director Richard Loncraine, a Hollywood veteran who worked slowly but steadily under the radar for three decades before his breakout semi-success with Wimbledon in 2004, and writer Joe Forte, a newcomer whose prior career consists of a single story credit on an unnoticed film, decided to play it safe with a bankable star and a straight formula flick to make a bit of money and solidify their careers. Or maybe the suits just messed it up. Who really cares anyway? The result was a boring movie with a stiff, creaky plot that'll be showing up sporadically on TBS for years to come.